Die fear die!

Hello my galactic gladiators!  You look marvelous in your love armour!  Just sayin.

Tonight I wanted to share some things with you about my struggles with some fears.  You know, there are many different types of strength.  There is the physical strength that we as humans admire.  The stamina that we witness as athletes work through their pain in order to reach the finish line.  They are often rewarded with tangible things such as medals, trophies and even t-shirts when they finish a race. 

Then there is the strength of a soldier and that soldiers family.  ( I use soldier as a generic term here because this really applies to every branch of the military. )  The soldier has to overcome a fear that runs through their veins like electricity when they are in battle.  The family back home has to overcome this same sort of electrified fear every time they hear of a battle close to where their loved one is stationed.  There are thousands of people doing this on a daily basis and very few of them ever see a medal.  That doesn’t make their service or their strength any less meaningful.  And to any of you who are military or family of military, I just want to say thank you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

There is the strength we see when someone is dealing with a terminal illness.  Often the person with the disease handles things much better than those around them.  These people look death right in the face and find the courage to live their lives to the fullest while they can.  This was the case with my family when my sister was dying of cancer. 

Then there is the everyday person like me.  I don’t have a spouse in service who I worry about every night before I sleep.  I am not dealing with any major medical issues.  And yet, I have fears.  I have a fear that I won’t be accepted because of my size.  I have fears about my age, my art, my business and whether or not I’m the absolute best mommy I can be to my dog Maddison. 

Today was really hard for me.  I was really missing my sister today.  I mean really missing her.  I spent the better part of the day trying to stop crying and wondering why it was so strong today.  My sister has been gone since 2004.  Most of the time, I’m okay.  Most of the time I remember her fondly and tell her I love her and move on with my day.  Then there are days like today that feel like I can’t quite catch my breath. 

I realized today that there are certain aspects of my life that I’m unhappy with.  Mainly I’m unhappy with myself because I let my fears stop me from living my life to the fullest sometimes.  Well you know what?  I’m SICK of it.  I read recently that we are all just one decision away from changing our lives.  Today I made a decision.  I’m not going to live in fear anymore.  I know I will still have fears but I refuse to let them stop me from living a full and happy life.  There  is a strength in allowing others to see your vulnerabilites.  This is why I’m sharing mine with you tonight. 

A friend who is on a forum I frequent said the other day, “I want memories, not regrets.”  That really hit home with me.  I love people.  I really do love them.  I try to live my life in such a way as to never intentionally hurt others.  Now it’s time for me to start giving myself that same love and respect.  I’ve decided that I’m pretty groovy and I deserve good things in life.  There will be no medals awared, but oh the rewards will be magnificent!

So if you are dealing with fears too then I invite you to join me in my new mantra.  Die fear die!  I have a passion for life and the courage to live it!  Blessings and love to you all.

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When life is demanding.

Hello dream catchers!  I hope your weekend has been wonderful.  I have had an excellent weekend, albeit a bit demanding.  Mostly it’s been other people who have been demanding but I must confess that the wonder dog has been a contributor too.  You see, the wonder dog is a rescue.  When she was a puppy she was very very sick for a very long time.  Due to her health issues, I couldn’t have her spayed as a puppy.  Now she is three years old and I still haven’t gotten her spayed because of issues in my life.  Mainly financial ones.  She never goes outside off lead because I live in an apt. and not a house with a back yard.  Well, she is in heat right now and she is miserable.  She is so miserable that she has decided that she is going to let me know just how miserable she is by staring and trilling at me.  I have proof that she is doing this. 

Demanding Wonder Dog

I know she is miserable.  I know none of us females enjoy the female issues, but honestly, can you see the face?  She’s like, I’m miserable so I just want you to know it.  LOL  I love her.  She sounds like those tribbles on that episode of Star Trek. 

Because my time has been crunched today I had to settle for a little illustration J tonight.  It is titled “J93 Lavender & Tulips J”

J93 Lavender and tulips J

It’s a little 3 X 3 inch art squared piece.  Speaking of tiny art, here are a couple of the little inchies I’m including in G’s box.  They are so much fun to do but challenging because you are so limited in the space you have to create on.  I’m thinking of plucking some of my hair to use as brushes and try a detailed piece.  These two are one inch squares.  

I want to give you an encouraging word tonight.  If you are feeling that life or people or a job or whatever is being demanding on you, remember that you are stronger than you think and you can handle more than you realize.  Step back and take a deep breath.  Assess the situation and if you can, step away from it for a while.  We forget to find our balance sometimes.  If you can’t, remind yourself that it’s only temporary.  You are so loved and you bring so much wonderment to the world.  Never forget your value.  I won’t!   

Inchies

That magnificence of loneliness

Hello luminous creatures of love!  Tonight’s post is going to be a bit different.  Tonight I am sharing a poem I wrote.

The Magnificence of Loneliness  

You wrapped your long arm around me, and whispered in my ear.

Oh you newly single woman, you have so much to fear.

You are alone. Just look around. No one to call you dear.

No one to snuggle up with, not even a daily hug.

Only chocolate, sad music or strong drink from the jug.

But I can offer you depression, desolation and despair.

You’ll love it really, just think of it, you won’t even have to fix your hair.

We can commiserate on the sofa, I’ll allow you to cry all you need.

I feel your desperation and pain, and these things I’m happy to feed.

On the other side of the coin, I can offer you much education.

You will begin to see your worth, with just a bit of cooperation.

For though your heart aches at times, you will begin to see your merit.

You will aim high for your goals and reach them if you dare it.

You will see your spirit soar, your progress roll like thunder.

You’ll turn around and realize, you’ve made it out from under.

So let me just embrace you love, feel the softness of my caress.

Let the magnificence of loneliness, remind you that you are blessed.

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Today I purchased some Copic Markers for myself.  I am completely HOOKED on these markers.  I will definitely be adding more to my stash.  Here are the four I bought today. 

Copic Markers

I also did some doodling for my art journal page.  I’ve filled an entire sketch page since taking this pic.  I’ll show you those soon.  I plan on journaling thursday since I will be off.

Journal Doodles

And tonight’s J is titled “J60 Zen Pastel J”.  And just a reminder, it’s only five days until the giveaway!  WOOO HOOO!  I’m totally excited! 

J60 Zen Pastel J

Oh how I longed for some blues and yellows tonight.  These will be the next in the stash along with the blender.  Thank you for looking.  I wish I could reach out and give you a big tight hug!  Thank you for being your most fabulous and magical self.  You are loved!