Today as I was working on an art journal, I had kind of a revelation. It dawned on me that all of my life, I’ve made my art with the fear of what others thought of it in the back of my mind. I have done pieces from time to time that were just for me, but that has been rare. I guess when you are working on commissioned work, that is to be expected but I wonder today if I haven’t done myself an injustice because of that.
While I worked today, I was able to really go inside myself and look at my feelings etc. I realized that most of my adult life, I have been focused so much on making a living, that I’ve sometimes forgotten to make a life. I know that sounds kind of cliche’ but it’s the absolute truth.
Since I have been studying LOA, I have come to see that I’ve made things much harder on myself than they need to be. I believe that some of that goes back to that whole “I don’t deserve it” tape that was playing for years and years in my head. Thank God I am aware of those now and am reprogramming my thinking!
I’m still waiting on my new soap scents to arrive. I’m so excited! I love love love when they come! I especially love the way the house smells when I’m making soap. Except when I make pine soap. *GAG* I do it because I have friends that love it. I detest the scent personally. It’s so funny to me how everyones noses are so different. My friends who order pine adore it. Some of them hate the fruit scents I prefer. That simply baffles me. I love fresh clean, fruity scents. I also love some of the perfumes on the market too. I’m particularly fond of some of Victoria’s Secrets scents. They are YUMMY to me!
I’ve got a groovy new scent called “Fresh cut grass” that I am going to soap this week. It smells just like fresh cut grass too! I’m going to make one batch straight and then I think I’m going to experiment and make another batch mixed with something else. I just haven’t decided what yet. I’ve got several to choose from, so we shall see. I’ll post pics when it’s ready.
Tomorrow I will spend the day cleaning my apt. and then grocery shopping. I’m finally getting back into the whole shopping mode. I realized today that part of the reason I have grown to hate it so much is because of the mindset I have had towards cooking now that I’m alone again. It dawned on me today that I have to start cooking for me like I used to cook when I was married. I mean that I have to cook good and healthy foods and keep good healthy foods in the house. Lately I’ve gotten into this pattern of keeping no food in the house. Then it gets late, I get hungry and it’s either go out and buy fast food or don’t eat. Mostly, I just don’t eat. Neither choice is healthy. Tomorrow I take steps to change that too. 🙂
Well, enough babbling for tonight. I’m off to get some well deserved rest and start tomorrow with a smile on my face and hopefully some groovy song in my heart. I’m hoping for some Nora Jones or Amos Lee, but I’ll settle for some Trace Atkins or Saliva too. LOL More tomorrow. Peace People!
Peachbutter Studio Arts 