Acknowledging grief and vegetable soup.

Hello my fellow seekers of light and harmony.  My adventure with my mom continued today.  We went to the grocery store and bought all of the ingredients for her homemade veggie soup.  I quickly learned that my main error in trying to copy her vegetable magnificence was my choice of meat.  You see, I like ground beef.  I love to brown lean ground beef with onions and mushrooms and then add that to my vegetable soup.  And don’t get me wrong, this combination is quite tasty.  It is not, however, anywhere near as tasty as my moms soup. 

Today I learned how she begins her soup and therein lay the answer to the mystery.  It seems that she starts with a top sirloin cut of beef.  She cubes this and boils it for an hour before doing anything else.  I also found out today that long slow cooking is another difference in our soups.  I’ll share pics tomorrow night.

As we were making soup we were laughing and talking about my step father Tom who passed away and my Granny Dot who also passed away.  We were recalling different funny stories about them both.  My mom stopped and looked at me and said, “You know when you and I are doing things like this together, I really wish your sister could be here with us.”  We lost my sister to cancer at the all to young age of 34.  My sister was a ray of light and I don’t know anyone who didn’t love her.   I looked at my mom and saw the pain in her face mixed with the love and happy memories she has of my sister.  I felt what she was feeling too.  All I could say is, “I know mom.  Me too.”  We both just smiled and went back to making soup.  We didn’t really have to say anything else.  We both understood the others pain and love.  

It’s a hard thing to regroup and find new ways to relate when someone central is suddenly gone from your life.  We are both working on that.  I love my mom.  I want her to be happy.  I want to always respond to her with love.  She deserves it  and so do I.  We both have a lot of pain to heal from, and we are.  I know God is working on me and I see Him working in my mother too.  I feel closer to her than I ever have in my life.  It’s a warm and wonderful feeling and one that I cherish.  We made magic tonight, in the form of vegetable soup, acceptance and love.  The magic of love.  It’s a powerful thing. 

Todays J a day is made out of….come on….guess…..LOL   Veggies of course!

J25 Veggie Delight