Die fear die!

Hello my galactic gladiators!  You look marvelous in your love armour!  Just sayin.

Tonight I wanted to share some things with you about my struggles with some fears.  You know, there are many different types of strength.  There is the physical strength that we as humans admire.  The stamina that we witness as athletes work through their pain in order to reach the finish line.  They are often rewarded with tangible things such as medals, trophies and even t-shirts when they finish a race. 

Then there is the strength of a soldier and that soldiers family.  ( I use soldier as a generic term here because this really applies to every branch of the military. )  The soldier has to overcome a fear that runs through their veins like electricity when they are in battle.  The family back home has to overcome this same sort of electrified fear every time they hear of a battle close to where their loved one is stationed.  There are thousands of people doing this on a daily basis and very few of them ever see a medal.  That doesn’t make their service or their strength any less meaningful.  And to any of you who are military or family of military, I just want to say thank you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

There is the strength we see when someone is dealing with a terminal illness.  Often the person with the disease handles things much better than those around them.  These people look death right in the face and find the courage to live their lives to the fullest while they can.  This was the case with my family when my sister was dying of cancer. 

Then there is the everyday person like me.  I don’t have a spouse in service who I worry about every night before I sleep.  I am not dealing with any major medical issues.  And yet, I have fears.  I have a fear that I won’t be accepted because of my size.  I have fears about my age, my art, my business and whether or not I’m the absolute best mommy I can be to my dog Maddison. 

Today was really hard for me.  I was really missing my sister today.  I mean really missing her.  I spent the better part of the day trying to stop crying and wondering why it was so strong today.  My sister has been gone since 2004.  Most of the time, I’m okay.  Most of the time I remember her fondly and tell her I love her and move on with my day.  Then there are days like today that feel like I can’t quite catch my breath. 

I realized today that there are certain aspects of my life that I’m unhappy with.  Mainly I’m unhappy with myself because I let my fears stop me from living my life to the fullest sometimes.  Well you know what?  I’m SICK of it.  I read recently that we are all just one decision away from changing our lives.  Today I made a decision.  I’m not going to live in fear anymore.  I know I will still have fears but I refuse to let them stop me from living a full and happy life.  There  is a strength in allowing others to see your vulnerabilites.  This is why I’m sharing mine with you tonight. 

A friend who is on a forum I frequent said the other day, “I want memories, not regrets.”  That really hit home with me.  I love people.  I really do love them.  I try to live my life in such a way as to never intentionally hurt others.  Now it’s time for me to start giving myself that same love and respect.  I’ve decided that I’m pretty groovy and I deserve good things in life.  There will be no medals awared, but oh the rewards will be magnificent!

So if you are dealing with fears too then I invite you to join me in my new mantra.  Die fear die!  I have a passion for life and the courage to live it!  Blessings and love to you all.

Try new things and giggle.

Hello love bugs!  How are you in all of your fabulousness today?  It’s been a really long and busy day for me.  I am proud of everything I got accomplished today.  I had feared I was going to miss my deadline for my J today but I didn’t.  Go team Jacqueline!  Yay Me!  🙂

I tried a few new things today and some of them made me giggle.  One thing I tried was walking in wedge heels.  I would just like to say that I have a newfound respect and reverence for those of you who can pull this off.  I felt and looked like I was trying to walk across a balancing beam.  I left the shoes in the store but I laughed all the way to my car.  There is a great comfort in knowing who you are.  I know I am not a wedge shoe girl.  I’m okay with that. 

I also tried a new technique with the blending stick and the copic markers.  It didn’t turn out like I was expecting but it did remove a good bit of the color.  I started to redo it but then I decided to roll with it and I’m glad I did.  Tonight’s J is titled “J75 New Things J”.  This is a new take on the border from last night.  I like this one even better.  I think it’s because I like the white space against the soft colors. 

I’m having fun trying new things and new experiences.  I lived my life for so long being afraid to make mistakes.  I’m not afraid anymore.  I want a rich full life and I don’t believe one can achieve this without taking risks and making mistakes along the way.  I’m just so happy that y’all are on this journey with me!  Can you believe I’ve been making J’s for 75 days now?  Is that awesome or what?  🙂   I hope you will take a risk and try something new today.  Even if it’s a little something I hope it makes you giggle.  You ROCK!  You can believe it, cause you know, if it weren’t true then I wouldn’t be telling you and stuff.

Art is spiritual

Hello time power surfers!  How was your day?  It has been hot here in Atlanta.  I have been without air conditioning for three days.  This evening they came and fixed it.  It was such a blessing to finally cool down! 

I spent most of my day today running errands and taking care of household things.  I was quite pleased with my progress on the house for the most part.  I’ve had a hard time keeping up with the drudge work because of my jobs and my art.  One of my friends reminded me tonight that I need to start making lists again.  She is very wise.  She sees my potentials as well as my weaknesses.  Being a very creative person I tend to get distracted.  Especially if something is shiny or speaks to my soul.  LOL  That’s just the way it is. 

My art is very spiritual for me.  So are other artists work.  If something speaks to my soul, I catch myself breathing differently.  Often times after I’ve gasped in wonder at the beauty of a certain piece. 

Tonight’s J is one of the pieces that I do sometimes where the J is part of the piece rather than the main focus.  I designed this little border tonight.  I quite like it and I imagine it’s going to end up being used over and over again in different works.  Tonight I wanted to play with the blending technique for the copics.  I’m fascinated with this blending tool and the different effects I can accomplish with it.  So here is “J74 Art J”.

J74 Art J

I would like to invite y’all to share any art that speaks to your soul.  I love discovering new artists and I love hearing from others how someones work has touched them.  I’m so glad that you come to visit me here.  I’m so touched at the emails you send me and the comments you leave.  I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the encouragement and kind words about my work.  My goal in my art and in my life is to encourage people and create laughter and positive feelings.  I couldn’t do this without all of you.  You are rays of sunshine in my days.  I love you large!  🙂

Just in time J

Hello my favorite people!  Tonight’s post is going to be very short.  I have worked 14  1/2 hours today and am physically very tired.  Spiritually I’m happy and upbeat but the body needs rest.  🙂  

Tonight’s J is titled “J69 Just in Time J”.  And yes it was really 11:30 when I drew it.  I just barely made it home in time to post today!  I promise I will reply to all comments tomorrow.  It’s also draw day for the giveaway tomorrow so tune in!  🙂   Love, health and happiness to you all.  Sweet dreams.

J69 Just in Time J

The power of the J

Helloooooooo lovies!  I worked 10 1/2 hours today.  I am exhausted.  My hair is even tired.  On my way home I was going over all the things I needed to get done before bed.  Walk and feed the dog, create the J, eat, get things ready for mailing, journal and visualize and pray. 

I was tired kids.  Driving home my body was explaining to me that it really isn’t on board for this program.  I had to explain that we ARE on board for the paycheck so you know, deal.  The body was reasonable and acquiesced.  As I drove my mind began creating pictures for me.  These pictures were of all the hats I wear in my life.  Then I began to think of different outfits to go with the hats.  Mostly because this is how my mind functions but also, because, well frankly, that’s just how I roll. 

I’ll share the process for your amusement and enlightenment.  Hats, outfits, shoes, hair, nails, makeup, lipstick color versus eyeshadow color, my face, different faces with different hats, my three favorite hats, my three favorite faces, the three faces of eve……AHAH!  The three faces of the J.  Scarey aint it?  LOL!  So without further silly punchdrunk delay I give you tonight’s J.  “J68 Three Faces of J”.

J68 Three Faces of J

The wonder dog is tired too.  She is so tired she thinks my purse is a good pillow.  I think we shall love ourselves and retire. 

The wonder dog with her purse pillow

Take care of yourself.  Remember your worth and know your value.  Look in the mirror and give yourself a big ole smooch!  You sexy creature you!

Jump in with both feet.

Hello all of you glitter girls and bling guys!  Today was a wonderful glittery sort of day.  I had a good bit of creative energy today.  I started several different projects and finished a couple I’ve been working on.  Remember the fabulous fabrics I got from Andrea?  Well I was going to use one of the flowers in my art journal but I decided it would be perfect on a card I was making for a friend.  Here’s a peek.

Beautiful Card

This little card is made out of a piece of a green file folder from the other day.  I gesso’d it and then did some paint swirls.  I added the fabric flower did some shading and then painted the leaves on.  After I finished painting I felt like I wanted some more embellishments so I added some glitter.  It was the perfect touch and I love it! 

Beautiful Card Inside

On the inside of the card I added two rows of lace.  Isn’t it pretty?  I love the feminine touch it gives the card.  I wrote the message with my india ink pen and then painted the roses with acrylic paints.  I added a line of mixed glitters along the edge of the lace to tie the whole thing together.  Now it’s ready for a personal note when I send it with her gift.  I hope she likes it. 

So, you’re saying to yourself.  This is all well and good but what does this have to do with the title of your blog post tonight?  Well it’s like this, I have discovered something about myself.  I have discovered that when I don’t jump into my art or soapmaking or any other project with both feet then I don’t produce work I’m happy with or proud of.  When I do let go and just jump in with both feet I’m always happy with the results.  That’s what I did with this card.  I let go and quit trying to control everything and just let myself create from my heart.  This card is full of love.  I know she will feel it when she gets it too.  🙂

Tonight’s J is titled “J63 Jump J”.  This is a tiny squared piece.  It measures just 3 inches by 3 inches.  I created this on Strathmore 140 lb watercolor paper.  The background is done with watercolors.  I then wrote “Jump!” with my india ink pen.  Already being covered in glitter, and being the glitter girl I am, I just had to glitter up the J.  I had fun, which is very important to me.  But more importantly, I like it. 

J63 Jump J

So whether it’s for art, music, a job or especially if it’s for love…..JUMP!!!  JUMP in with both feet and enjoy the adventure!  Make people a priority in your life and you will be so richly rewarded that it will blow you away.  Don’t forget to make yourself a priority too, cause you know, you’re really kinda groovy and you deserve it.  Just sayin.  *HUGS*  Now go out into the world and show them just how completely fabulous you are!

I made a promise today.

Hello my groovy jumping beans!  I made a promise today.  Actually I made a few. 

1. I promise myself to honor my own voice.

2.  I promise myself I will always look for the positive things in my life.

3.  I promise myself that I will say “I love you” to me every single day.

That’s it really.  Cause, you know, that’s how I roll.  🙂  Have you made any promises to yourself lately?  I hope so because promises are sacred and so are you!  Todays J is titled “J61 I Promise Myself J”. 

J61 I Promise Myself J

I want to make one more promise.  This promise is to you.  I promise to love you and honor you for the incredibly awesome human bean you are in this soup of life!  *HUGS*  You ROCK!  You ROLL!  You SPARKLE!  You GLOW! 

And just a reminder, only four more days till the 65 day giveaway!  WOOO HOOO!!  PARTAY!!!!

That magnificence of loneliness

Hello luminous creatures of love!  Tonight’s post is going to be a bit different.  Tonight I am sharing a poem I wrote.

The Magnificence of Loneliness  

You wrapped your long arm around me, and whispered in my ear.

Oh you newly single woman, you have so much to fear.

You are alone. Just look around. No one to call you dear.

No one to snuggle up with, not even a daily hug.

Only chocolate, sad music or strong drink from the jug.

But I can offer you depression, desolation and despair.

You’ll love it really, just think of it, you won’t even have to fix your hair.

We can commiserate on the sofa, I’ll allow you to cry all you need.

I feel your desperation and pain, and these things I’m happy to feed.

On the other side of the coin, I can offer you much education.

You will begin to see your worth, with just a bit of cooperation.

For though your heart aches at times, you will begin to see your merit.

You will aim high for your goals and reach them if you dare it.

You will see your spirit soar, your progress roll like thunder.

You’ll turn around and realize, you’ve made it out from under.

So let me just embrace you love, feel the softness of my caress.

Let the magnificence of loneliness, remind you that you are blessed.

————————————————————————————

Today I purchased some Copic Markers for myself.  I am completely HOOKED on these markers.  I will definitely be adding more to my stash.  Here are the four I bought today. 

Copic Markers

I also did some doodling for my art journal page.  I’ve filled an entire sketch page since taking this pic.  I’ll show you those soon.  I plan on journaling thursday since I will be off.

Journal Doodles

And tonight’s J is titled “J60 Zen Pastel J”.  And just a reminder, it’s only five days until the giveaway!  WOOO HOOO!  I’m totally excited! 

J60 Zen Pastel J

Oh how I longed for some blues and yellows tonight.  These will be the next in the stash along with the blender.  Thank you for looking.  I wish I could reach out and give you a big tight hug!  Thank you for being your most fabulous and magical self.  You are loved!

Take a risk and let the joy roll in!

Hello you beautiful spiritual surfers!  First of all I want to say that I am feeling so much love from all of you.  Thank you for the emails and the comments and the subscriptions!  Y’all rock!  Seriously ROCK! 

Second I want to tell you that even though tonight’s post is going to include many pictures, the actual post is going to be short.  I want to give you one thought to ponder tonight.  Let it sink in and really really think about it. 

What is it in your life, right now, today that is keeping you stuck?   What would happen if you took a risk and opened yourself up to getting unstuck?  You don’t have to say it out loud.  Yet.  *grins* 

Okay onto the pictures for the night.  Here are the tags that I cut out yesterday and altered for my journal. 

Tags 1

Tags 2

Tags3

Big difference from yesterday right?  I love the way they turned out.  I can’t wait to use them!

Dream Doll

This is the altered art piece titled “Dream”.  I absolutely love the way this turned out!  It’s so strange to me how I can make things that are seemingly random at times and then down the road they all come together as artwork.

Journal Front

Journal Back

These are pics of the front and back of the new art journal.  I’m not finished with the back yet but she stopped talking to me for now so I shall have to come back when she is ready to speak again. 

I decided to use one of the tags I altered for todays J.  I just couldn’t resist and I’m glad I didn’t!  Isn’t it fun? 

J56 Jamba J

J56b Jamba J inside

Take a risk!   Enjoy the surprises that happen when you do.  Let the joy roll in baby!  You are loved beyond measure, admired beyond compare and well frankly, just one of the grooviest peeps around!

The dream crow landed in my studio.

Hello my fellow happy dancing through life buddies!  Today was a most interesting day.  It started out with the sweetest softest puppy kisses you can imagine.  Normally, Maddison is not a morning dog.  She likes to linger in the bed even after I’ve crawled out for the day.  This morning she woke early and was in a very good mood.  I was treated to smooch after smooch and then a serious snuggle.  What a beautiful way to wake up! 

After breakfast and a walk I settled in to work on some art.  I finished a paper mache’ box and another piece titled “Dream”.  I forgot to take pictures while the light was good so I’ll have to share them tomorrow.  I also did some work on my art journal today.  I cut out some little inserts out of some file folders I had in a box.  I made all types of shapes and sizes.  Here is what they look like right after I cut them.

Folders for Journal

I gesso’d these and then added some paint to them.  They look really cool now.  It’s amazing to me how the gesso tones down the color and leaves you with a new blank canvas to work on.  I also forgot to take pictures of these so I will have to show you the final product tomorrow.  I also altered the front and back of my new art journal and created a hand-made card for a friend who is going through chemo right now.  Again, no photo’s.  Suddenly my sassy attitude about my accomplishments today is waining.  LOL

I took a break today and I was reading some dream interpretations.  Recently I’ve dreamed about crows and I was trying to get some information on what that could mean.  As I read I ran across the word “jackdaw”.  I had never seen this word before so I went and looked it up.  It turns out that a jackdaw is a Eurasian version of our black crow only smaller.  I think they are cute!  Not only that but I was handed my J for the day by the universe.  Isn’t that cool?  So here is my rendition of the jackdaw. 

J55 Jackdaw on folder

I drew this little guy on a piece of one of the folders that I had left over.  I wish I had a name for him.  Any suggestions?  I would love to hear from you.   This little bird got me thinking about how sometimes we get answers from sources that we aren’t even looking for.  Each day I try to actively look for a new J.  Each day I try to find a way to express my thoughts to you about things as I search and find my J for the day.  Some days I have to wing it because nothing really jumps out at me.  Other times, like today, it’s handed to me on a silver platter.  I guess that’s the nature of life really.  When we let go and relax, we are often gifted in ways we would never have expected.  When that happens it’s such a lovely surprise. 

I hope you are surprised by something wonderful today.  Whether it’s a big thing or a small thing, I hope the surprise makes you smile.  I hope you take that smile and share it.  Better yet, why not surprise someone else?  I guarantee you that will make you smile!  Have a fabulous day my fabulous peeps.  You are wonderful beyond words!  Thank you for being you and making my world a better place.